I'm sorry I've left you hanging for two weeks! You may have wondered, "Where is she?" You might be thinking, "Yeah, she did that thing that bloggers do; she started well, then she got tired and lazy and quit on me."
I assure you, I did not. However, you dear faithful reader, deserve an explanation for the past two weeks.
Here it is:
On Sunday, May 29, 2011 Ben Worley graduated from high school.
Look at that face, that sweet hopeful face. When he crosses the stage, moves the tassel over and then stops and looks up at us sitting in the stands—well. What you can't see, but he can, is that we are, his whole family—mom, dad, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandmothers—sitting in a row, leaning forward, glowing with love and pride. Our faces are saying, "We believe in you. You will change the world." Tomorrow he will go back to being the regular, remarkable Ben Worley. But in this moment, he is a Promise. He is all Possibility.
He did not have to stop at that moment and look up. How beautiful that he did.
There were no words. I, who am full of words, had no words. My son stole my heart.
His brothers have done the same thing to me. Your children will do that—without warning, without the cap and gown or Pomp and Circumstance. They might just come through the door, or round second base. You might catch them playing with a toy or smiling over their cereal. And suddenly you can't breathe. You are overcome. Sometimes, they have you at "Hello." This is what happened to me that Sunday.
On Monday, I felt like I had been beaten with a 2x4.
On Tuesday, I slept for 24 hours.
On Wednesday, I could work the TV remote.
On Thursday, I combed my hair.
On Friday, I puttered.
On Saturday, I attempted to read a book.
On Sunday, I ate pancakes.
On Monday, I went back to work.
And that, dear reader, is why you have not heard from me. I like to think that you missed what I might have to say. But know this: Sometimes, there are no words.